On relating to Kristen Bell’s mental illness disclosure

Last week Kristen Bell became the latest Hollywood star to mention that she’s not ashamed for taking medication for her anxiety and depression, and the news of her mental illness disclosure went viral. I’m grateful she used her fame to bring awareness to an issue that touches so many of us, but at the same time felt like I couldn’t quite relate, even though I’ve been affected by the same disorders.

Listen, I’m all for celebrities sharing their stories. They have platforms much, MUCH, bigger than mine, and the more people who open up, the better. The more attention we can draw to the cause, the better. The more we normalize mental illness, the better.

I guess I just can’t really relate to a celebrity. I’ve never met one myself, although I’d imagine most of them are down to earth. They are human, too, after all. Albeit humans with seemingly endless streams of money, and access to practically any doctor they would ever need to see. They experience mental illness the same way the rest of the population does, only with privilege. Many of them receive the proper diagnosis, effective treatment, and manage their conditions successfully.

On the flip side, no matter how much wealth and access to care they have, some we lose to suicide, like Robin Williams.

Now let me back up for a moment and acknowledge the fact that when I experienced my most serious battles with my mental illness, it was partially my privilege which allowed me to be able to get well. I recognize this.

What I’m trying to say is that to me, when a celebrity goes on camera and talks about having gone through a mental health issue, it’s not nearly as impactful as when regular people I meet through my advocacy work share their stories. It’s also not the same as a celebrity figure who has made a commitment to fighting the stigma surrounding mental illness by continually sharing her story – the way Demi Lovato has. There’s a big difference between mentioning the fact that you take medication for anxiety and depression, and making it part of your purpose in life to educate people.

Also, last time I checked Psychologists weren’t licensed to prescribe medication.

When I started this blog my goal was to simply inspire one person not to give up. To let her know that there is life after a mental illness diagnosis and multiple psychiatric hospitalizations. That the months spent crying and sleeping and barely eating because you’re so nauseous even the thought of toast turns your stomach, that all those months and maybe even years spent suffering could come to an end.

I truly believe finding other people’s stories online helped me to find my recovery path. Which is why when I found the right time to begin writing out my own story, I went for it. I knew that being anonymous wasn’t the answer. But at the time I felt a responsibility to my family when making the decision on whether or not to use my real name in my writing. My disclosure would affect them, too, after all.

Then, after eighteen months of blogging, I reached a point where my anonymous writing had reeled in a regular paid blogging gig for WhatToExpect.com, and I wasn’t willing to go on without receiving recognition for my work. I wanted to do my part to stand up to stigma, and I knew the best way to do that was come out of the closet about my mental illness. So I did.

And none of my fears came true. The fear of losing friends, of being discriminated upon, of being looked down upon. None. Instead, the response was the complete opposite.

Which is why I am such a strong believer in the power of storytelling. Yes, I come from privilege. But in our This Is My Brave shows there are plenty of people who have come forward to share their stories and they didn’t have the same access to care that I did. They still made it out of the darkness. Their stories are extraordinary.

The power behind sharing our stories lies in the ability to comfort others. In our country alone, one in five adults is living with a diagnosable mental illness. We are all affected by it, whether we realize this or not. Mental illness is mostly invisible, and because of both internal and external stigma, and the fear it instills in people, those suffering often times do not reach out for help. They feel isolated, like they are the only one who has ever dealt with that condition.

It’s not true. When we share our stories openly, people suffering in silence realize they are not alone. And they see that if someone like them was able to get well, they can too.

Which brings me back to my point about celebrities. Celebrities are people just like you and me. They’re human. But given the world they live in, my guess is that it’s hard for an average American to relate to their stories.

I urge you to visit our This Is My Brave YouTube Channel where you can view over 100 true, personal stories of overcoming mental illness from regular, everyday people. Teachers, students, small business owners, stay-at-home-moms, community service workers, and the list goes on.

This month, for Mental Health Awareness Month, we have five all-new This Is My Brave shows on the schedule. Our Greenville, South Carolina show was this past Thursday night and it was incredible. Our Iowa City show is this coming Friday night, the third annual DC-area show is this Sunday. And finishing out the month on the same date, May 19th, are our Chicagoland and Denver shows. All our new shows will be added to our YouTube channel this summer.

Deciding to share your own struggle with mental illness is a personal choice. It’s This Is My Brave’s goal to inspire people to #LiveBrave which means when you’re ready, and you find the right opportunity to share your experience with someone, whether privately or publicly, you will. Your ability to be brave will give the other person the comfort and solace they need to feel understood. We’ve seen it happen through our guest bloggers and our live show presentations. It’s life-changing and extremely powerful.

Whether you get that feeling from a celebrity talking about her experience, or someone you know and love in your life, the point is that together we can dissolve the stigma surrounding mental illness by sharing our stories.

LiveBraveIf you decide to #LiveBrave with us, we’ve designed an overlay you can add to your Facebook profile pic and Twitter profile pic. It’s easy, simply follow the instructions here: http://twibbon.com/support/live-brave

 

8 Things I Want People To Know about Postpartum Psychosis

8 Things Postpartum Psychosis

Photo credit: Lauren Gay Photography – http://laurengay.com

 

I love all the media attention these past few weeks on postpartum depression. It’s so important for us to keep these conversations going so that more women and families understand that they are not alone and that it’s okay to reach out for help because treatment works. It’s wonderful to see celebrities like Hayden Panettiere, Drew Barrymore, and Alanis Morissette opening up about their stories because when people we admire, women we assume have it all together, open up and show us their struggles, we pay attention.

I’m just a mom, with a 5-year old little man, who wants to prove to the world that our struggles don’t define us. They only provide us with opportunities to make a difference in the world. I’m beginning to work on explaining this to him every chance I get.

– from a post I wrote dated Sept 19, 2013

We also need to be talking about postpartum psychosis. I was diagnosed with PPP a month after my first child was born, and suffered from antenatal psychosis (psychosis during pregnancy) during my second pregnancy. Both times I had been avoiding my medication for bipolar disorder because I didn’t want to expose the baby to the risks.

I want to share what I’ve learned. Maybe then, more people will understand postpartum psychosis the way they’re beginning to understand PPD, and the women and families who experience it will feel as supported as those who go through postpartum depression.

      1. Women who experience PPP are NOT monsters. Yes, it’s true that untreated PPP can lead to infanticide, but that doesn’t mean it’s the mother’s fault. She was sick and needed treatment, and the more we’re able to identify the symptoms and the sooner she’s able to get treatment, the chances of her actually harming her baby can be avoided all together.
      2. We can be good at hiding the onset of PPP. Having been diagnosed with bipolar disorder two years before I had my first child, I knew what the beginning of a manic episode felt like. I was euphoric, energized despite the severe lack of sleep, and highly social, planning playdates when obviously I should have instead been resting. I hid my initial symptoms for fear of having my son taken from me. I was terrified of failing as a mom.
      3. Family and spouses/partners are usually the first to know something is wrong. If it weren’t for my husband, who knows what could have happened. The morning my husband called 911 to have me hospitalized, I woke at 5am after having barely slept the night before due to the baby’s feeding schedule and my extreme mania. I was in the kitchen rearranging the items in our cabinets. My speech was pressured (had so many things to tell my husband but the words wouldn’t come out fast enough), and what I was able to verbalize wasn’t making any sense. He recognized these symptoms from my two previous manic episodes years before, combined with how little sleep I was getting, and immediately called 911.
      4. Sometimes the woman can’t even see how badly she needs help. Seeking help for psychosis symptoms is very different than seeking help for postpartum depression. Usually it is not the woman herself who seeks treatment, but the spouse/partner or family member who initiates treatment through hospitalization. After the birth of my first and during my second pregnancy, I became so ill that I couldn’t realize exactly how far gone I was. It was a gradual process, but once I reached a certain level of mania, the chaos in my brain took over and catapulted me into psychosis and it was up to those around me to find a way to bring me back. Involuntary commitment was what I needed both times.
      5. It can be difficult to admit symptoms. Some women have thoughts of harming their children, and some of them act on those violent thoughts. Stories like the one of Andrea Yates might make women afraid of reaching out for help for fear of being looked down upon by friends or family members. I was one of the lucky ones who didn’t have those intrusive thoughts, but it was still incredibly difficult for me to admit that I needed help.
      6. Although rare, there are predicting factors, and PPP can be prevented. Postpartum psychosis is much less common than postpartum depression. Although there are underlying conditions which can predispose a woman to developing postpartum psychosis, a diagnosis of bipolar disorder being the main factor, any pregnant woman is potentially at risk. Which is why we need to raise awareness around PPP the same way we are raising awareness around PPD.
      7. Breastfeeding isn’t the only way to feed a newborn. I put tremendous pressure on myself to breastfeed my first child. “Breast is best” was everywhere I turned during my pregnancy and I correlated my ability to feed my child from my body with how successful I was as a new mom. Not only was this wrong, it was incredibly unhealthy. With my second child, we had a plan to bottle-fed with formula from the start, which led to a much more enjoyable postpartum period as compared to my first month of new motherhood breastfeeding my son.
      8. Moms who experience PPP are good moms, too. If I would have known that experiencing this illness was not my fault, and that there were other moms out there who also had to be hospitalized following the births of their babies, it would have been a little easier. Which is why I share my story. If even just one person finds my story and she’s able to get help sooner rather than later, it’s all worth it.

My Mental Health Pride Parade – This Is My Brave

These past few weeks have been filled with rest, family, and relaxation. The beautiful outpouring of appreciation from those who attended the show filled me love and pride for my fellow This Is My Brave cast members and my Co-Founder and dear friend, Anne Marie Ames, without who this production would not have been possible.

During the show, I stayed in the moment the entire time. Sure, I was nervous as hell. But I could practically feel the love radiating from the audience up onto the stage, and it calmed me. Emotions flowed, and at times I wondered if my cast-mates would make it through their pieces without breaking down from the intensity of being that transparent and vulnerable in front of a sold-out audience. Each and every one of them exceeded my expectations. We rocked it and I cannot wait for the world to see what we did that day.

This debut show marked the beginning of our movement. We’ve got a ton of exciting projects in the works, but have to constantly remind ourselves to take things one day at a time. This Is My Brave has come quite a long way in 10 months. I can only imagine what lies ahead.

We hope you’ll stick around for the ride. #ThisIsMyBrave

 

Letters for Kitty

letters-for-kittyPhoto Credit: skipmoore via Compfight cc

I had a pen pal when I was thirteen. We lived in adjacent states; he in Maryland and I in Pennsylvania. We wrote love letters to each other and I remember the heady anticipation of running off the bus, heart beating as fast as the wings of a hummingbird, and straight to the mailbox to see if I had a new letter. Our dads went to college together and we’ve known each other our whole lives. He was my first crush and today he’s still one of my best friends in the world.

My mom still has the box of his letters I saved. A whole shoe box full.

Handwritten letters can touch a person’s heart the way an email or text could never begin to. Taking the time to choose pretty stationary, a swift pen, and the perfect stamp to send it on its way makes receiving a gift in the mailbox such special experience. I love seeing a friend’s personality come through in his or her handwriting.

Writing letters is an art. And we need to bring that art back in a big way.

I recently found out about The World Needs More Love Letters from a good friend of mine who knows what makes me tick. I squealed as I read her email it was so spot-on.

Grassroots projects like More Love Letters help restore my faith in humanity. When strangers come together to join a movement like this, when they stop what they’re doing in their busy, full lives to write a letter which will most certainly affect a stranger’s life in a positive way?

This is what it’s all about folks.

But listen. This isn’t about mushy, sticky-sweet, kissed-in-red-lipstick-topped-off-with-a-spritz-of-perfume note cards. These are love letters of a different sort.

These are love letters laced with the tales of how you stumbled and fell, how it hurt like hell, but how you picked yourself up and learned to put one foot in front of the other again. You may not realize the power of sharing your story with someone you don’t know, but I do.

And it’s such a good feeling. Because the person on the other side, reading your words, no longer feels so alone.

Think of it as sending a warm, fuzzy hug to someone who could really use one right now.

 

I’m hoping you’ll join me in waking up the lost art of letter writing. There is someone who I think could benefit from the expertise (or just plain old everyday encouragement) of my readers. Her name is Kitty.

Head over to More Love Letters and scroll down until you get to The Second Day of Letter Writing to read her story. Let’s send her some love. Tell her about how you’re managing. Tell her how some days are harder than others but that you keep going. Tell her how inspired you are by her dedication to her profession. Write your heart out. Your words will make a difference.

Just remember to get your letter in the mail by December 20th so that it’ll be included in Kitty’s bundle.

 

PS. My e-book is going to be published on Snippet tomorrow – Thursday {which may be today, depending on when you’re reading this.} I hope you’ll check it out and share it. Consider it my first {of more to come!} letter to the world, all about how I found the courage to accept my mental illness.

Click HERE to download Snippet in the Apple store. It’s the fun, new interactive way to read short, engaging e-books.